


Spotlight

by ballyhoobarnes



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier - Fandom, the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-02-11 14:04:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12936840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballyhoobarnes/pseuds/ballyhoobarnes
Summary: When your agent decides a publicity stunt is what you need, you’re fallen into the trap that is Bucky Barnes’ life. How long can you keep up with his attitude and antics or will he redeem himself before it’s too late?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: language, Bucky being a bit of an ass
> 
> Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader
> 
> All works from my tumblr; @ballyhoobarnes

“No way, there is no way I’m doing that,” you said sternly, standing up from your position in the rather large black armchair, “I’m not gonna be exploited like that,” you huffed, walking out of the conference room. 

Bucky Barnes was Hollywood’s highest paid actor, earning a whopping sixty-five million dollars in the last year. He was everything you were looking for in an actor. He was handsome, beyond handsome even his piercing blue eyes and chocolate locks complemented his complexion. He was well built and could perform practically all of his own stunts, which attracted many casting directors. 

People everywhere drooled over him and wished they could one day be like him, but of course, no one was really perfect.  
Bucky Barnes also had the world’s biggest God complex on top of his already ballooned ego and cockiness. He knew he was the best and he didn’t once try to deny it.  
You on the other hand, were fresh blood. Very new to the scene, having only a few major debuts in films and only one major role. It wasn’t your fault and your agent did the best she could, but Hollywood bites. 

So when you walked into a meeting that proposed the idea of you dating Bucky Barnes, the world’s most eligible bachelor, you scoffed at the idea not wanting to be sucked into the realm that is Bucky Barnes life. 

“I don’t really see the big deal, in the end, it’s a bigger win for you then him in my opinion,” your friend, [Y/F/N], says as you sat in your kitchen eating takeaway, “you sound just like my agent,” you chuckled as she rolled her eyes. 

“Then why won’t you do it?” She asked as you picked at your food, “cause he’s an asshole, you know that,” you told her with a sigh as you bit into an egg roll, “yeah but he is incredibly attractive too, imagine what it’d do for you image,” she beamed as you laughed at her. 

In reality your career could really use a boost, you weren’t necessarily struggling, but you didn’t have it easy and glamorous. You didn’t know exactly why Bucky wanted this, or if he even knew about this but you suspected it’d have something about his womanizer headlines that have surfaced recently. 

“I’m telling you, give it a shot,” she said as you snapped out of your daze, “I don’t know…,” you trailed off not really sure that you could convince her that you didn’t wanna do this, “c’mon it’ll be great, you’d probably only be “with” him for a few months anyway,” she said, shrugging her shoulders as you thought about your options. 

“I hate how ever since you finished law school you’ve become so convincing,” you chuckled as she laughed with you, “so does that mean you’ll give it a shot?” She asked, eyes huge and grin even bigger, “I guess so,” you chuckled as she threw a piece of broccoli at you in a congratulatory fashion. 

“I’m really glad you decided to give this another shot,” your agent, Steph, said as you walked side by side with her down a corridor, “thank my friend, she did all the convincing,” you laughed as you reached a large boardroom, “behave,” Step said, pointing a finger at you as you rolled your eyes, “I’ll do my best,” you told her as you stepped through the frosted doors. 

Inside sat a few men and women in business attire, you recognized a few faces meaning they were on your side, the rest you had never seen in your life. That’s when your eyes landed on him. He was sitting on a couch against one of the walls of the room, not paying attention to anything. 

You practically scoffed at his appearance, a pair of dark wash jeans, a white shirt, a leather jacked, and a black hat and sunglasses to finish off the look. Typical.  
You sat in the nearest chair and waited for the meeting to begin and for Bucky to say something rude. 

“Alright, so we’re here to negotiate the terms,” a man in what looked to be his fifties spoke, “[Y/N]?” He asked as you looked at him, “I get to be the one that breaks it off,” you said and as soon as you did, Bucky’s head snapped up, “not a fucking chance.”

And there’s his entrance. 

“Fine, I don’t have to do this in the end anyway, have fun with the headlines, Barnes,” you spoke slyly standing up from your chair, your agent mimicking your actions knowing your plan. 

“Wait,” a female voice spoke, probably his agent, “I’m sure Buck will come around,” she said and gave him a threatening look as he let out a sigh, “fine whatever I guess,” he said as he fell back into the couch. 

“That’s all my requests,” you smiled victoriously as Bucky took his sunglasses off to give you a look. 

He expected someone a lot more… fake, if he was being honest. Someone that would comply to every request, that would follow whatever order, but he smirked at the idea of you having an attitude, something he could have fun with. Or possibly something he could use against you.

“Bucky?” The female said again as he snapped out of a trance looking at her confused, “are you alright on the terms?” She asked slightly irritated, probably used to his behaviour, “oh uh, yeah,” he said nonchalantly before meeting your eyes for a second. 

You had agreed on a set four months at least, if the relationship needed to be extended for another month or two it would, if not then it would be ended. They wanted you to go out with Bucky a few times just to stir up some rumours and clear Bucky’s, then once more and more questions get asked that when they wanted the confirmation to be done. 

This entire scheme was sick and twisted and you knew it was wrong, so wrong, but it’s not like publicity stunts are unheard of. You pushed all of those thoughts aside when Bucky stood up and walked over to sit on the chair beside you. 

“Ease up on the cologne, would ya,” you told him as you stifled a cough trying to swat the smell away with your hand. 

“I had a mishap this morning, alright? It’s usually tasteful,” he chuckled which left you confused. Was Bucky Barnes being nice and compliant? You must’ve looked like a deer caught in headlights because Bucky had to wave his hand in front of you face to bring you back to Earth. 

“Hello, Earth to [Y/N],” he joked as you shook your head, “huh, yeah what,” you rushed out as he smirked, “I asked if you were free for dinner tonight?” You didn’t answer, you just looked around the room at the faces for the go ahead. When your agent shook her head you finally looked back to Bucky, “dinner sounds good,” you said with a small smile still dumbfounded by Bucky’s sudden change in attitude. 

You and Bucky decided to meet at a nice little Italian place that was close to both your apartments, the joys of living in New York City. 

After your friend checked your outfit and gave you the green light you were out the door and on your way to the little restaurant. Paparazzi’s never really bothered you unless you were at an event so walking wasn’t a problem for you. 

Bucky on the other hand, not so much. As you rounded the block you saw a heard of flashing lights and screaming men surrounding your destination and you knew this was probably paid for considering they just let you walk through them without a fight. 

As you walked through the doors you turned your back to the many camera’s not watching out in front of you. 

“Ouch,” you groaned as you fell back onto your bum, “gotta be a little more attentive around the paps, doll,” you heard Bucky’s voice say as he offered you his hand, hoisting you off the ground, “you’re built like a wall,” you chuckled as he gave you a smile. 

“Well, let our first date commence,” he said, almost nervously, as he wrapped an arm around your waist to follow the hostess to your table. He pulled out your chair like a gentleman and you scoffed at the action, “you don’t have to pretend around me,” you told him as you opened your menu. 

“Just tryna look good for the paps,” he winked as you rolled your eyes. You knew him being nice was too good to be true.  
Just get through the night. 

The dinner went well considering there was a flock of paparazzi’s outside taking continuous pictures, “are you alright?” Bucky asked as the table was cleared of your plates.

You looked up at him looking into his eyes and for the first time since you’ve met you saw true concern in them, “I’m alright, the flashes are just really annoying,” you sighed but gave him a small smile. 

“I’ll be right back,” he said assuringly as you gave him a confused look but his face told you that he had a plan so you went with it. It was only about five minutes until he returned extending his arm for the second time that night to you. 

“C’mon,” he ushered you as you placed your hand into his noticing the stark size difference, “are you wearing heels?” He asked as he led you towards the back of the restaurant and through the kitchen, “no, why?” You asked apprehensively, “because,” he said stopped at a door to turn to you, “we’re gonna have to make a run for it,” he smirked mischievously. 

He didn’t give you time to process or think about what he said, he just opened the door and tugged you behind him onto the busy streets of New York.  
“Bucky are you crazy!” You screeched as you ran behind him noting how the swarm of paparazzi’s saw you and were running after the two of you. He didn’t answer he just looked at you with a smile as he weaved in and out of people. 

“Think we can lose ‘em,” he asked rhetorically as an idea popped into your head, “I have an idea!” You declared as you sped up to be in the lead, Times Square in your sights. 

You were both a laughing mess as you pulled him through Times Square making sure to weave in and out of people, successfully losing the paparazzi’s but gaining the attention of a lot of other people. 

Bucky had pulled you aside into a small little alley as you both caught your breaths when you realized he was pressed up against you, his breath fanning over your face. But you didn’t mind, because he had gone through all that trouble to get you out of the eye of the camera’s, even if it was a hassle. 

“How are we gonna get home?” You laughed as Bucky poked his head out of the alley, “you’re gonna hate me, but,” he said as you crossed your arms over your chest to hear him out, “we need a disguise.”

“You’re right,” you said as you walked through the streets, “I do hate you,” he laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.  
You were both currently decked out, head to toe, in New York City attire. Of course Bucky also suggested that you should both wear oversized gag glasses and Statue of Liberty hats to complete your look. 

“You say that now, but just wait until you get home and see just how great you look,” he chuckled as you rolled your eyes, “I’m avoiding all mirrors when I get home, I can promise you that,” you chuckled as you rounded the corner of your building. 

You couldn’t lie, you had a great night with Bucky even though it didn’t go according to plan in any way, shape, or form. And Bucky wasn’t such a bad guy, maybe it was all a facade; you weren’t too sure. 

“Well, this is me,” you told him as you walked up to your building, “thanks for dinner, and the souvenirs,” you chuckled as you pointed at your ridiculous outfit, “anything for m’lady,” he said with a fake bow making you laugh even harder. 

“Really, I had a great time,” you told him genuinely as you both calmed down, “me too. Hands down best fake date I’ve ever been on,” he smiled as you admired him.  
“I’ll see you soon,” you said quietly as he pulled you into a hug, “for sure, you’ve got my number, right?” He asked as you nodded, “yes Buck, I have it,” you assured him as he nodded, neither of you moving, “well, I’ll see ya,” he finally said, placing a kiss on your cheek and turning on the balls of his feet to head off.  
That night you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. 

“That cannot be you,” your friend said as she zoomed in the picture of you and Bucky decked out in New York merch, “I’m actually glad you can’t recognize me, it’s good for my soul,” you laughed as she scrolled through all the articles of you and Bucky’s shenanigans. 

Bucky Barnes and up-and-comer [Y/N] [Y/L/N] get creative at avoiding the paparazzi’s.

New love for Bucky Barnes?

Has Bucky Barnes found the one?

Can [Y/N] [Y/L/N] tie down Bucky Barnes? 

The headlines went on and on and you couldn’t feel a sense of pride creep up on you. You were in the middle of reading an article when your phone began ringing, Bucky’s name appearing on the screen.

“Have you seen the articles?” He asked enthusiastically as soon as you muttered a ‘hello,’ “I’m reading them right now,” you chuckled, “we look good together you know,” he boasted as you scoffed, “I’m making you look good, remember that Barnes,” you said playfully, “how could I forget,” he joked as you went to sit on a chair.  
“So,” he began, “you like basketball?” He asked, “I guess,” you shrugged, “there’s a game tomorrow night and I have court side tickets, great publicity,” he said making you smile, “sounds like a date, Barnes. Bring your A game,” you told him, “I always do, doll.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your agent decides a publicity stunt is what you need, you’re fallen into the trap that is Bucky Barnes’ life. How long can you keep up with his attitude and antics or will he redeem himself before it’s too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: angst central 
> 
> Paring: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader
> 
> All works from my tumblr; @ballyhoobarnes (:

The basketball game went without a hitch, in fact, the other seven dates went without a hitch. You were really enjoying Bucky’s company and vice versa.   
Throughout the game, Bucky would make sure to have his hand somewhere on you, not in a sexual or suggestive manner, but more as a protective I’m with her type of manner. Whether it was an arm around your shoulder pulling you into him or a hand on your knee gently rubbing circles on it, even just his hand in yours as you both enjoyed the game. 

The media was also eating you two up, whatever it was you were doing, there was a headline. It seemed like Bucky Barnes, the infamous bachelor, had found someone he could truly enjoy spending time with.   
This got the media all riled up because do people really change, well clearly they thought that Bucky Barnes had gone through some type of spiritual cleansing and was a new and changed man. 

Which is why three months into the relationship, you and Bucky had been spending a lot more time together, not just because both your agents and publicists insisted on it, but because it was where the two of you could just have fun.   
“Are you feeling Chinese tonight? Or maybe Italian? What about pizza? Sushi sounds pretty good,” Bucky began listing off all the cuisines he had on speed dial as you were lounging on the couch, “Buck, all of those sound good. You pick,” you told him as you saw the worry lines forming on his forehead from the pressure of picking a takeaway. 

“What if I order pizza but end up wanting sushi?” He practically whined as he flopped onto the couch, his head falling into your lap, “then order both,” you suggested as his eyes light up, “genius,” you heard him mumble as he dialled a number and held his phone to his ear.   
You sighed, knowing that this was supposed to be a fake relationship. That no one was really supposed to harbour any feelings so in the end, no one would get hurt. But it’s impossible not to have feelings for Bucky Barnes, especially when you’re supposed to be in a relationship with him.   
You pushed all those thoughts aside when Buck fell back onto the couch, this time beside you and not on top of you, “you sure you’re fine with anything?” He asked again as you playfully rolled your eyes, “yes, babe, I”m fine with anything,” you chucked, using the petname ironically as he smiled at you. 

“Wanna bet on what gets here first?” He said giddily as you turned on Netflix, “oh it’s definitely the pizza,” you said confidently as he scoffed, “no way, definitely the sushi,” he said as you raised an eyebrow, “you’re on Barnes,” you said shaking his hand to seal the bet.   
“Aha! I told you the pizza’d be here first!” You cheered as he set the box down on the coffee table, “that was just a lucky guess,” he mumbled sitting down right as the doorbell rang again making him groan, “I’ll get it,” you said but he managed to get up before you, “you’re the guest, now get comfy,” he told you sternly as you stifled a laugh. 

“Since I won the bet, I get to pick the movie,” you said grabbing the controller to search for the movie, “but you always pick the same one,” he whined taking a slice of pizza from the box, “yeah and you always lose the bets so suck it up,” you said, sticking your tongue out at him, “Stepbrothers,” he grumbled as the movie began loading on the screen, “the best movie ever made,” you pointed out grabbing a pair of chopsticks.   
The night went by faster than you remembered it, what with all the food, movies, and laughing neither of you realized just how late it had gotten. Nearly three in the morning to be exact. 

“I guess I should get going,” you said as you stifled a yawn, stretching your legs, “you walked here,” Bucky said more so to himself but you were within an earshot, “Buck it’s like a few blocks to my place, I’ll be fine,” you assured him as you threw the blanket off of your body and onto the back of the couch.   
“At least let me walk you home,” he bargained, as you shook your head, “that’s too far out of your way,” you chuckled looking around for the small purse you’d brought with you, “I’m not letting you go out this late,” he told you, a stern look plastered on his face. 

You stopped doing whatever you were doing to look at him. His hair was slightly disheveled from you running your fingers through it and he was wearing a now grease stained shirt with some jeans. You couldn’t let this man go out of his way to walk you home.   
“I’ll be fine,” you told him again continuing the search for your purse, “stay with me,” he finally said leaving you to stop dead in your tracks, “what?” You asked as you cautiously turned around not sure if you heard him right. 

“I have a king sized bed, I’m sure we’ll be comfortable,” he chuckled lightly, shuffling from one foot to the other, “I have clothes you can borrow and a bunch of toothbrushes from all my dentist visits,” he continued trying to persuade you into staying the night.   
“What about the morning, the paparazzi’s, the media, the fans, everyone’ll freak out,” you told him, seriously considering his proposition. You’d be lying if you said New York at this time of day didn’t scare you, “I don’t care, they can say whatever they want,” he said softly, a small smile playing on his lips. 

In that moment you felt time stop as you walked over to Bucky, looking up at him, “only if you’re really okay with it,” you whispered as he moved a piece of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear, “I’ve never been more sure,” he breathed, his hands on your hips as your eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips.   
In a second, his lips were on yours. There was nothing sloppy or needy about the kiss, instead it was slow and sweet, all his feelings being poured out in this kiss like his life depended on it. 

“Let’s go to bed,” he whispered, his forehead resting against yours. There was nothing sexual about his statement, you didn’t feel uncomfortable, and for the first time you didn’t feel nervous around him.   
He lead you into his room, a place you’d been in many times before, but never in this scenario. You stood in his room as he went over to his drawers to fish out a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt you could wear to bed before handing them to you, “they might be a little big, but they should do,” he chuckled as he led you into the bathroom to grab you a toothbrush, “purple, pink, blue, or green?” He asked as he displayed them to you, “uhh I’ll take the green one,” you said as he placed it in your hand.

“I’ll let you get changed and brush your teeth,” he smiled, closing the door behind him.   
After the both of you were finally ready for bed nearly thirty minutes later, you both crawled into the giant king sized bed, “I can get you a blanket if you get cold,” he told you as you pulled the duvet up to your chin, “Bucky,” you laughed, “I’ll be fine,” you told him genuinely as he smiled, pulling up his side of the blanket.   
Turning off the bedside lamp, you both lay in darkness looking at each other as your eyes adjusted to the lack of light, “I’m having a lot of fun with you, [Y/N],” Bucky mumbled, “I am too, Buck,” you whispered with a smile on your face. 

There was another brief silence before you decided to turn around, “goodnight, Bucky,” you sighed closing your eyes, “goodnight, [Y/N].”  
You had always been an early riser, ever since you were a small child. There was something about the quiet and stillness of mornings that made you feel at ease as you took your time to get ready for the day.   
So when you woke up at eight thirty, it didn’t surprise you. What did surprise you was the arm around your waist and the mess of legs tangled with yours. it freaked you out for a second before you opened your eyes to reveal a sleeping Bucky. 

His face was buried in the pillows, mouth agape slightly letting small snores escape once in a while as his hair stuck out in several different places. He looked so soft and almost innocent when he slept you felt bad that you needed to wake him up in order to get out of the death grip he had on you.   
“Bucky,” you whispered earning nothing from him, “Buck,” you whispered louder, poking his cheek this time. This earned an unhappy grunt as he buried his head into the pillow and tightened his grip around you. 

“Bucky,” you resorted to whining as you carded your fingers through his hair as he stirred in his sleep, peeking open one eyes, “no,” was all he mumbled before closing his eye to try fall back asleep.  
“Bucky I have to pee,” you whined, “no you don’t,” he said with his eyes still closed as you groaned, “yes I do now let me go or bad things will happen,” you warned him as he groaned and reluctantly let you go.

You heard your name being called through the door of the bathroom as you washed your hands.   
Bucky in the morning was clingy, noted.   
“I was gone less than two minutes,” you chuckled as you climbed back into the warm bed, “that’s too long,” he spoke, his morning voice still evident making him that more attractive.   
“You’re such a baby,” you jokingly told him as he pulled you back into his grip, “m’I don’t care,” he smiled, his baby blue eyes shining as he did, “did you sleep well?” He asked as you gave him a nod, “I slept really well,” you told him as he smiled brighter, “good.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to make you anything for breakfast?” He asked you for the nth time as you pulled on your shoes, still wearing his sweatpants and shirt, “yes, don’t worry about it,” you reassured him, “but I appreciate the offer, I really do. I just have a meeting in two hours and I smell like pizza,” you chuckled as he pulled you in for a hug, “you barely smell like pizza,” he laughed as you rolled your eyes.   
“Are we still going to the premiere?” He asked as you pulled your purse over your shoulder, “of course we are, Barnes,” you told him, “I wanna see this new movie of yours, you do look really good in it,” you said with a smirk as he scoffed, “well of course I do,” he joked as you lightly punched his arm, “modesty,” you warned as he put his arms up in sign of defeat. 

“I’ll call you tonight,” you told him as he unlocked the door for you, “sounds good, dollface,” he smirked as you pressed a kiss on the side of his mouth taking him slightly by surprise, “talk to you soon, loverboy,” you smirked as you headed out into the hallway and to the elevator leaving him to admire you.   
“You got it bad, Buck,” Steve said as he placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder squeezing it, “I’ve never seen you like this with a girl,” he pointed out as Bucky just played with his beer bottle. 

_

“That’s the problem, this’ll all be over in like a month, maybe two if we’re lucky,” he sighed not daring to look at his best friend, “hey here’s a suggestion, don’t break up,” he deadpanned as Bucky rolled his eyes at him, “it’s not that easy, Stevie. They want the attention and publicity of the breakup,” he told him as Steve scoffed, “they don’t control your lived,” he stated. 

“It’s just that, ugh,” Bucky said his hands flying to his hair, lightly tugging at the dark locks in frustration, “this was never supposed to be a permanent solution,” he said, voice low and full of sadness as Steve looked with concern at his best friend. He had never seen Bucky this distressed over anything in his life.   
Bucky was the type of person who didn’t get close to many people because he would eventually get scared and begin to push them away as a natural instinct only realizing what he was doing when it was too late. “I understand how hard this is, just don’t do anything stupid,” Steve warned as Bucky just grunted in response, too in his own mind to come up with any response of any sort.

Don’t do anything stupid. 

Steve’s words played in his head as her name illuminated his screen. He sighed, closing his eyes as he sat in his dark apartment with his head in his hands. The buzzing finally, finally, stopped and he knew he should’ve picked it up but he just couldn’t bring himself to.  
You were sat on your bed when you decided to give Bucky a call. The line rang, and rang, and rang, and then finally went to voicemail. This wasn’t unusual but whenever you’d call Bucky he’d almost always pick up.  
You decided to brush it off, it was only around five in the evening so he might’ve picked up a later session with his trainer or went for some dinner. Still, it did worry you a bit. 

Maybe you overstayed your welcome last night. Maybe you should’ve just taken the couch instead of sleeping in the same bed as him. You knew it stirred feelings not just from you, but from him as well. This terrified you, this was never supposed to be a real relationship but here you were, slowly falling in love with the man.   
Soon enough nine o’clock rolled around and you decided to try calling him again, but just like the last time it went straight to voicemail.   
“Hey Buck, it’s me. Uh, call me back when you have a chance,” you left a voicemail thinking he might just be out with friends. To distract yourself you managed to find an interesting movie on Netflix to watch before falling asleep. 

The next day rolled around and it was nearing one in the afternoon and you still hadn’t heard anything from Bucky. You didn’t want to come off as clingly so you just went about your day hoping he’d shoot you a text or call.   
A full day went by and still nothing from Bucky, this was starting to annoy you because you were supposed to be his date to a movie premiere tomorrow night and you had yet to figure out transportation. 

Deciding to send him a quick text, hoping he’d reply. 

Hey, just wondering about the premiere tomorrow night and how we’re gonna get there

You sighed as you hit send wanting nothing more than an explanation of where Bucky was. You hadn’t seen any new pictures surface on social media so you assumed he’d either stayed in or was incredibly lowkey. Either way, it bugged you.   
Two hours it took him to reply. Two whole hours. 

I was actually thinking of taking Steve to the premiere, since he’s never been to one… 

No explanations as to why he’d been ignoring you, no he had texted you to say he was going to blow you off and take his best friend instead. Not that you had a problem with that, maybe if he didn’t do it the day before the premiere and after you’d bought a dress and everything. 

I hope you can understand. 

Another text from him rang as you rolled your eyes at the screen, you were fuming. 

Got the message, have fun James. 

You replied before hiding your phone from yourself so you wouldn’t be tempted to text or call him saying something you’d regret.   
Maybe you should’ve seen this coming, the four months are coming up on your relationship and he probably didn’t want to continue being friends with you after the “breakup” so he was distancing himself from you. Either way it hurt. It hurt because you really, truly cared for him and he was treating you as if you were an item.


	3. Chapter Three

You were never supposed to get attached. You had only yourself to blame and you hated yourself for pining over a man you’d never be able to get. You drove him away, you knew you did and you had to accept the fact that things were never going to be the same between you and Bucky.

You don’t know how long you spent sitting on your couch blankly staring at the TV letting a few tears slip past your eyes. You do know that at one point you screamed. 

You screamed at the fact that you let yourself think this was going to be easy and mindless. 

You screamed because no matter how much you tried to bring yourself to hate Bucky, you couldn’t. 

You screamed because you didn’t know how long it would take for you to get over him, but you knew it would take a toll on you.

Soon enough you managed to fall asleep on the couch with your TV playing and you voice hoarse, your heart aching and brain shouting for answers.

It had been a week since the premiere, the one that Bucky chose to take Steve instead of you and the media lapped up at the possible breakup rumours. Bucky just denied them and said you weren’t feeling well that night so you’d opted out of the premiere. 

After that one night you decided to try your hardest not to think about Bucky, going as far as ignoring almost every single call and text message you received unless it was deemed to be important. 

You had been doing a pretty good job and you felt good about yourself for the first time since that night because you were doing something for your own benefit and not his or anyone else’s. 

So when you heard a knock on your front door as you were making dinner you contemplated answering it but decided against it thinking it was just a package or something. 

When the knock came again you furrowed your eyebrows wondering who could be at your door, you stood by your stove listening for another knock and when another one came you turned the stove off and walked towards your door. 

Another rapping of knuckles against your door came as you looked through the peep hole to see a disheveled looking Bucky standing there. Of course it was him, who else could it really have been. 

You opened the door slowly and met a very tired, almost weak looking Bucky standing in front of you. His hair looked a mess as if he had forgotten to take care of it or even wash it. He had dark bags under his eyes and his once lively blue eyes seemed dull and lacklustre. 

“[Y/N],” he whispered your name as you crossed your arms over your chest waiting for the excuses to pour out of his mouth, “Bucky,” you said with no emotions whatsoever.

“Can I come in?” He asked meekly, “I guess,” you said paying no more attention to him and walking back to where your dinner was growing colder by the minute. 

“Why haven’t you been responding to my calls?” He asked once he closed the door, “I’ve been calling and texting you non-stop,” he spoke sounding almost annoyed which only made your blood boil. 

“Why do you think,” you spat not bothering to look at him, “it’s not fair what you’re doing, you know,” he spoke coldly as you slowly turned around to him in disbelief. 

“You really don’t wanna get into this discussion right now,” you nearly growled as he stared you down, “maybe I do,” he deadpanned as you walked closer to him. 

“Alright,” you laughed dryly hanging your head, “why did you start ignoring me? Why did you all of a sudden start treating me as if I was just another object to you? Did I cross a line because if I did, the fair thing to do would be to tell me. But no, you decided that ignoring me would do the trick, didn’t you,” you seethed, your heart racing as you finished. 

Bucky looked at you with a mixture of anger and regret, “that’s different,” he whispered as you threw your hands up in disbelief, “get out,” you growled as he looked at you in surprise, “but I-,” you didn’t let him finish, “I said, get out,” you bellowed angrily as he tried to bargain. 

“Let me explain,” he pleaded, “get out of my house, James,” you spoke in a deathly clam manner. He sighed, hanging his head in defeat as he walked towards your door, “you have no idea how much I hate myself for doing what I did to you,” you heard him say before the door slammed shut leaving you in an empty dark apartment.


	4. Chapter Four

“You have no idea how much I hate myself for doing what I did to you.”

His words hung heavy in the back of your mind ever since he came by your apartment just last night. You were shellshocked, dumbfounded, stressed at his words. You began feeling unbearable guilt coming so close to calling him the next morning and apologising to him. 

Then something snapped inside of you. Why on Earth should you be the one to apologise for something he started. Well in all honesty you’re both at fault, but that doesn’t mean you should apologise first. 

The battle inside you went on the entire day until you practically thought yourself to exhaustion and decided that you really needed some comfort food. Pizza was always an easy option and since you lived close to your favourite pizza shop you decided that some fresh air would also do you some good. 

You didn’t even think twice that there’d be any paparazzi’s considering you were practically a normal person compared to the rest of the celebrities residing in New York. Grabbing your wallet and sliding your shoes on you began your walk towards the shop. 

“[Y/N]!” You heard your name being called, turning around you didn’t see anyone so you just shrugged it off and continued down the sidewalk, then as if they came out of nowhere there was an ambush of paparazzi’s surrounding you. 

“Did you hear about Bucky’s one night stand?!” One of the men shouted and you stopped dead in your tracks, “what?” You asked suddenly interested, “he was making out with her in a club and she was seen leaving his apartment the next morning!” He shouted and you don’t know why but you felt your heart drop down to your stomach. 

You stood there as they continued to take pictures and scream questions as you while you were fighting the urge not to break down in tears right then and there, “are you still with Bucky?!” Another man shouted as you snapped your head up. 

“No,” you said calmly, “we’re not,” you finished before weaving out of them giving them what they wanted, “we never were,” you mumbled to yourself as you pushed the door of the pizzeria open. 

“What do you not understand about don’t do anything stupid?!” Steve practically yelled at Bucky as he sat on his couch not looking up at him, “does this look like something stupid?” He asked rhetorically showing him a picture of him and the girl on his phone. 

“I messed up,” Bucky groaned as Steve scoffed, “no, you fucked up. Big time,” he said as Bucky stood up, “I know alright! I get it! I’m a fucking idiot who only has one night stands and can’t keep the only girl I’ve ever loved! You happy!?” 

Steve looked at him with wide eyes, “you love her?” He almost whispered as Bucky dropped down onto the couch again, “I do,” he stated with no hesitation whatsoever. 

Steve knew that Bucky was afraid of getting close to women since his past relationships have all ended on the premise of too much baggage on his side. After that he just stopped getting into relationships and started fucking around because at least that way, he couldn’t get hurt. 

Both Steve and Bucky’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Bucky’s phone ringing on the coffee table. Bucky mindlessly grabbed it before picking it up. There was some chatter on the other side before he sprang up from the couch, “she what?!” He exclaimed, running a hand down his face. 

That was the end of the phone call for him, not wanting to listen to anything else, “what happened?” Steve asked confused and concerned, “she told the fucking paps that we’re broken up,” he fumed as he began pacing the room back and forth. 

Steve sighed, “can you blame her, Buck?” He posed his questions carefully as he watched his best friend in distress, “no,” he sighed, “I really can’t.”

You had gone through so many things this past month emotion wise that you had become numb to everything and anything. You didn’t cry or scream when you found out Bucky had ended up hooking up with someone else. 

It hurt like hell but you were so emotionally drained that you physically couldn’t cry anymore, opting to just sit and eat your pizza in peace as you watched mothers and kids laughing along the street and busy business people walk hurriedly towards their destinations. 

For the first time you felt light and happy as you distracted yourself with people watching and not about what Bucky had done to you. Sadly you knew it was too good to be true when your agent called you. 

“The media is going crazy,” she told you as you rolled your eyes, taking another bite of your pizza, “why’d you do it?” She asked sounding genuinely concerned, “stuff just…happened,” you told her quietly as you heard her sigh, “we’ll figure this out, don’t worry,” she said and you could hear the small smile on her lips, “thanks Steph, you’re the best,” you replied before hanging up. 

Walking back to your apartment was much less hectic and cooler since it was nearing the evening hours, but you didn’t mind. You needed the fresh air to think about your next move. 

You needed to talk to Bucky, even if you didn’t want to you weren’t going to let his career plummet because of your big mouth. You also knew that you needed to be mature about this, even if he wasn’t going to be. Lastly, you needed to apologise to him. You needed to be the bigger person if you wanted any hope of patching up whatever this is with Bucky. 

Reaching your door you turned the key and walked in, fatigue hitting you when you walked into your bedroom. Tomorrow you’d talk to Bucky and figure out why he was acting like he was. 

Bucky wasn’t expecting you so when you stood outside his door just a little past noon you debated whether or not you should knock. Taking a deep breath you knocked your knuckles against the door and waited for an answer. 

“Steve?” You said confused as you were met with blonde hair and blue eyes instead of Bucky’s brunette hair and blue eyes, “[Y/N]!” He whisper-shouted excitedly, pulling you into the apartment, “you have no idea how happy I am that you’re here,” he said, excitement still flowing through his words, “I think I do,” you mumbled trying to stifle a laugh. 

He lead you into the kitchen, darting his head often as he looked out for Bucky, “why’re you here?” He asked as he leaned against the counter, “I need to talk to Bucky,” you told him, mimicking his stance, “about?” He asked you sighed, “just this entire situation,” you sighed as Steve looked behind you, “I’ll get him, I’m not sure how he’ll react though,” he warned as you gave him a small smile, “I don’t blame him,” you said as he chuckled at your words. 

You were too nervous to sit so you opted for pacing the length of his couch as you heard muffled voices coming from Bucky’s bedroom and soon enough, he emerged looking worse than ever. His hair was a mess, barely washed and in tangles as he wore an old pair of sweatpants and shirt. His eyes were dull and the bags were much heavier under his eyes. You hated seeing him life this. 

“Hey,” he let out softly, snapping you out of your thoughts, “hi,” you said as Steve excused himself back to Bucky’s room. There was an awkward silence between the two of you before you finally spoke up, “I’m sorry,” you said, surprising Bucky wholeheartedly, “why, why are you apologising?” He asked confused as he took a step closer to you. 

“Buck, you and I both know I shouldn’t have said what I did to the paparazzi’s,” you deadpanned as he looked at you still surprised, “and I probably should’ve just let you explain,” you mumbled as he stood in silence. 

“You shouldn’t be the one apologising,” he muttered in disbelief as you shrugged your shoulders, not knowing what to say, “I’m the idiot who decided pushing you away was a good idea,” he laughed dryly as you looked at him with sympathy. 

“Don’t beat yourself up, we all make mistakes,” you told him as he shook your head, “no, I hurt you. I’m the one who ended up hurting you, it’s my fault,” he said finally meeting your eyes. The both of you stood there in silence looking at each other for what felt like eternity before you finally broke the silence. 

“I guess this is it, though,” you said sadly as Bucky’s heart dropped, “what?” He choked out as you looked down at your feet, “I-I don’t want this to be over,” he said, all his walls coming down as he walked closer until he was standing in front of you. 

“It’s for the better,” you mumbled refusing to meet his eyes knowing you’d break down, “we can make it work,” he pleaded and for the second time, something snapped in you, “you hurt me, I-I can’t go through that again,” you said teary eyed meeting his own glassy eyes. 

“I,” he started but you cut him off, “I know about the other girl, Buck. It’s fine I don’t hate you I just can’t do this if you’re going to be doing that,” you spoke quietly letting a tear slip from your eye. 

“[Y/N], she meant nothing. I don’t even know her name, I-I did a stupid thing,” he tried to desperately explain himself, “but you did it,” you spoke trying to avoid his gaze, “you can’t expect me to be okay with it, you and I both know this ended up turning into something more real than fake,” you said, your voice quivering. 

“I’m not giving up on us,” you heard Bucky whisper and you heart skipped a beat at his words knowing he wasn’t throwing you away, but at the same time remembering what he did to you. 

He pushed a piece of hair behind your ear, his hand cupping your jaw as you leaned into his touch relishing in the warmth of his hand as his thumb stroked your cheekbones, “I’m sorry,” you mumbled again more to yourself than him, “I don’t think I can do this,” your voice cracked and you now flinched at his touch, shattering his heart. 

You turned around starting to walk towards his door like the wimp you felt that you were, “I love you,” you heard him say just loud enough for you to hear making you freeze but not turn around. 

“[Y/N], I lo-,” he began again but you stopped him, “don’t,” you begged, “please, just don’t,” you said as more and more tears slipped down your face as you looked at him one more time before leaving his apartment accomplishing the exact opposite of what you wanted.


	5. Chapter Five

He loved you. Bucky Barnes, the infamous bachelor was in love with you. And oh how you wanted to say those words to him, but you didn’t. You fucked it all up, running out of his apartment because you were too afraid to let your walls down. 

That night you contemplated whether or not your should call him. Going as far as dialling his number, then quickly deleting it and chucking your phone onto your bed before repeating the process a few more times. 

It had now been one whole day since Bucky declared that he loved you and you ran out of his apartment. You sighed as you lay on your bed, staring your rotating ceiling fan just thinking about what to do. 

You wanted to see him again and to just scream I love you too at the top of your lungs, but you knew you didn’t have the guts to face him again. You sighed as you got up to try and find something to distract yourself with before you heard a faint knock at your door. 

If you were any further in your apartment you were certain that you wouldn’t have heard it, but you walked to your door nonetheless. Unlocking it and opening it slowly you came face to face with Bucky. 

You nearly didn’t recognise him. His beard was gone and he had cut off his long locks, styling them neatly on top of his head. He no longer looked like a mess, wearing a button down and some dark wash jeans, “Bucky?” You whispered, not really believing your eyes. 

“Do you like it?” He asked, a hand coming up to comb through his short hair as a small smirk played on his lips, “I,” you were lost for words as you looked him over and over again, mouth agape. 

“It looks amazing,” you finally managed to say, locking eyes with him, “really?” He asked, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets; a nervous habit. “It looks really good,” you said with a small chuckle as you finally let him inside. 

“So, uh, what’re you doin’ here? I thought I scared you off for good,” you said with a nervous laugh as you twiddled your thumbs, “you really think you can scare me?” He chuckled, taking a step closer to you. You didn’t say anything, just shrugged your shoulders as you looked at the floor. 

“Doll,” he whispered as he placed his hand on your chin slowly lifting your head so you’d look at him, “I meant everything I said that night. Everything,” He whispered his eyes showing nothing but sincerity. 

“Which means I’m not giving up on us, darling,” he said as a smile erupted on your face. You threw your arms around his neck, startling him slightly as you buried your face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist to hold you closer to him. 

The two of you stayed like that for a while as you breathed in his scent, noting how he changed his cologne. “I’m sorry about storming out,” you mumbled into his chest finally gaining the courage to remove your face and look at him. 

The look he had on his face was nothing short of admiration as he stared down at you, “let’s just forget about that nigh, whadaya say?” He proposed with a loopey grin as you nodded your head and let out a small laugh, “I’d really like that,” you mumbled as your eyes became transfixed on his pink lips.

“Hey Bucky?” You said mischievously as he raised an eyebrows cautiously, “yes,” he said as you stood on your tippie toes, “I love you too,” you muttered against his lips before he closed the gap in a searing kiss. 

The kiss was messy but full of feelings as you both finally let your walls down, “that was worth the wait,” Bucky panted as he rest his forehead against yours, “we waited too damn long,” you chuckled before he pecked your lips again. 

Three Years Later

“Bucky?” You called as you shrugged off your light jacket, tossing it on the couch, “honey?” You called out again when you got no response. You set the grocery bag on the kitchen island along with your keys as you wondered where he could be. 

He was supposed to be home, he’d text or call you to say if he left but you got nothing from him. You let out a huff as you began exploring the house, going through all the doors before climbing up the stairs deciding to check your shared bedroom first. 

“Buck-” you stopped when you saw Bucky fast asleep on the bed, your six month old cradled on his chest as she slept soundly. Your heart swelled as tears of joy began forming. You were so in love with Bucky and so in love with your baby girl, Elliot, that you couldn’t help but take a picture of the scene. 

Tucking you phone into the back pocket of your jeans you made your way over to Bucky side, crouching to his level to card your fingers through his messy hair. You admired him and your sleeping girl before pressing a kiss to his forehead standing up to leave before his hand caught your wrist, “stay,” he whispered, peaking his eyes open. 

You smiled before crawling onto the bed beside him making sure to be as gentle and as quiet as possible, “I missed you,” he murmured into your hair once you were lying down beside him, “I wasn’t gone for more than an hour,” you chuckled quietly turning over to him. 

“I don’t see your point,” he smiled as you turned over onto your side to face him, “I love you, Mr. Barnes,” you whispered as his free hand went to cup your jaw, his thumb caressing your cheekbone softly, “I love you more than you’ll ever know, Mrs. Barnes,” he said before placing a soft kiss onto your lips.

“We should have another one,” he said after some silence, motioning to your sleeping baby girl, “I just had a baby,” you playfully whined as he lightly shrugged his shoulders, “I love her so much,” he whispered as he admired the sleeping baby on his chest. 

You bit your lips in anticipation as you took his free hand, guiding it to your belly as he looked at you in confusion, “you’ll love someone else in a few months time,” you whispered as his eyes grew wide, tears glossing them. 

“I can’t wait,” he said, voice quivering as you pressed a kiss to his lips before resting your head on his shoulder, his hand making soothing circles on your tummy as you fell asleep knowing you’d hit the jackpot. No matter how rough the start was, you’d never want it any other way.


End file.
